


Commanders Over Ravens

by lilnaugrim



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Chess, Cullen Notices Something, Cullen protects, Dorian Is Hiding Something, Dorian is raped, M/M, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-14
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-11-14 04:43:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11200683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilnaugrim/pseuds/lilnaugrim
Summary: Wherein Dorian has to keep quiet otherwise, Cullen will get hurt...or worse.





	Commanders Over Ravens

                Dorian stood in his nook as he read from the book in his right hand and swirled his glass of wine in his left hand. He hadn’t dared to sit in his comfy chair in a while but rather, he stood whenever he could. He couldn’t let on about the injury he’d recently faced for fear of humiliation. Instead, he stood when he could and sat gingerly when he must. Today, he was barely reading the book but rather thinking about a threat recently made to him and how he might go about remedying this ill thought. He certainly did not want the threat to pass judgement should he not do as he was told, but he had to find an end to this madness.

“Dorian?” Cullen’s voice brought him out of his intense trance.

“Hm?” Dorian looked up to the intruder. Cullen was smiling gently to him as he stood against the corner of the bookshelf, he looked as if he had a secret.

“What’s on your mind?” he asked as he crossed his arms for comfort.

“Reading,” Dorian showed him the book.

“You and I both know that you weren’t just reading,” Cullen chuckled at him. “What is so intensely intriguing that it’s been on your mind so often?” he asked. Dorian had huffed at him but he set his book and glass down to face the Commander.

“Mostly,” he paused and smirked, “about how I can get you to join me for lunch,” he flashed the Commander a smile and wink. Cullen huffed and rolled his eyes at the obvious change of topic, but he let it roll.

“All I get from you are requests for dates,” he shook his head. “You’d think that the Vint would let up when he realizes that I’m not on the market for _anyone_ ,” Cullen replied.

“Ah,” Dorian turned to him with a smirk, “but you’re also aware of how good I am at getting what I want.”

“Indeed,” Cullen smiled, “come. Join me for a game,” he beckoned his friend onward to eat their lunch in the garden. Dorian grinned with his win and followed the Commander to the garden. They had one of the runners bring them food as they sat for a chess match. Dorian winced at his sore muscles and sat more on his hip than his ass, hoping that Cullen wouldn’t notice his little shift. For a while, it seemed that he was in the green.

“It’s been a while since we’ve played or even spoken for that matter. You’ve been hiding yourself away,” Cullen made his move, “do you have some big secret thing going on?” he smirked. Dorian moved his pawn and sighed.

“Not exactly,” he replied before taking a bite of his sandwich.

“So what’s been keeping you from me? I’m not that boring, am I?” Cullen asked, moving his own pawn to take over Dorian’s.

“Hardly,” Dorian scoffed attempting to be amusing. He glanced towards the castle but went on, “You know that I value our time together Cullen.” He moved his knight out.

“You’ve left your knight open for me…” Cullen mused as he took it with his pawn, “that’s not a move you commonly do. Are you distracted perhaps?” he looked to the mage who kept glancing around.

“Distracted? With a handsome Commander like you in front of me? How ever could I _possibly_ be distracted?” Dorian rolled his eyes. Cullen smiled at the compliment but he still felt that something was off in the mage. He sat and watched Dorian’s moves, they were uncoordinated and sloppy. He didn’t want to win so easily and Dorian usually put up quite the challenge, even if he did cheat occasionally. There was definitely something on the mage’s mind. “How has your hand been?” Dorian asked him tentatively, glancing to the Commander.

“Oh, it’s been alright. It’s a little sore, I just wish I knew exactly how it happened,” Cullen shrugged as he looked down at the small bandage. Dorian nodded before shifting his eyes around again to check. “Are you alright? You act as though you are being watched.”

“Aren’t we though?” Dorian asked, glancing to the spymasters tower. “I’m sure Leliana can taste what we’ve just eaten,” he huffed. Cullen looked towards the tower before glancing back to Dorian who still seemed fidgety. “Except she doesn’t see what happens inside the castle,” Dorian added quietly.

“What are you on about? I’m sure she even knows what side of the bed we all woke up on today,” Cullen tried to give a smile, wanting to cheer up the Vint.

“It’s nothing to worry you about Commander,” Dorian shook his head. “Check mate,” he knocked the king over and stood up to leave. Cullen looked at the board, astonished. He was quick to spring himself to Dorian to catch his arm.

“You’ve been acting strange the last week. Are you alright Dorian?” he asked when the mage had stopped at the pull on his arm. Dorian felt his heart jump into his throat with the question.

“I’m fine,” Dorian said quietly.

“Look at me and tell me,” Cullen demanded him, still ahold of his arm to prevent the mage from escaping. He watched as Dorian swallowed his pride and cleared his face of emotion. Dorian turned to look at Cullen, the expression was so fake that it hurt.

“I’m fine Cullen,” he repeated. Cullen let him go. He watched the mage limp slightly towards the castle, what could have happened to leave the mage so paranoid and distrustful? He stood there for a while before he looked back down at the board where he noticed something. Dorian had left his king on the same square as his own instead of taking his down. This was not a normal move either; Dorian always prided himself in winning and would make sure that his king was the only one standing. Cullen picked up the two kings and wondered what it might symbolize. The mage had won by sacrificing all his pieces just to get his king near Cullen’s piece. He held the two pieces for a moment more; he set them down when he decided to give the Spymaster a little visit.

“Cullen, it’s good to see you,” Leliana greeted him when he found his way to the tower. Dorian must have gone to his room since he hadn’t been in his nook. “You don’t look happy, is there something wrong Commander?” she asked him.

“Have you been keeping a watch on Dorian lately?” he asked her.

“I watch everyone, including you and the mage,” she nodded. “Is there something wrong?”

“Dorian is…not himself,” he began to explain. “He was looking all around today as if he were being watched. I’ve never seen him behave in such a way. He looked like he was in pain honestly, he kept shifting but I did my best to not let him know that I knew,” he told her. “Is there anything unusual about his activity lately?” he asked her.

“Not that I’ve seen.”

“What does he typically do at night when he isn’t with me?”

“Not very much lately. It may be surprising, but he usually goes to his room after his work in the library has been completed. From there, he stays until morning,” she shrugged.

“No one joins him?” Cullen had to ask.

“I’m sorry Commander, no one enters or leaves his room,” she shook her head. He had to wonder about what was going on, Dorian was clearly distracted and in fear. “I can post extra eyes to his room if you so desire,” she offered.

“I would appreciate that,” he nodded. He left to return to his office and do his best to keep the mage off his mind. The painful look of sadness that he’d seen Dorian wear when he’d stopped him, it haunted him that night.

 

~One week prior~

 

                Dorian sat in his room; it was the third whole month that they’d been in Skyhold without an attack from Corypheus. The keep was celebrating in the Tavern mostly but Dorian found solace in his room by the fire. He sat with his glass of wine in his hand as he stared into the flames and smiled to himself. He’d recently found himself in company with the handsome Commander. He knew that it would be a difficult catch but he believed that he could turn the scales for the Commander and eventually be a little more than just friends. His friends always called him too hopeful, but he wouldn’t doubt himself. He knew it would take time to work on the Commander, but Cullen hadn’t seemed to mind his flirting that night which was a step in the right direction he figured. Everything was going well. That is, until a hand found its way over his mouth to muffle his screams. Dorian blacked out from some sort of smell of a potion.

                Dorian groaned when he woke up. Something wasn’t right—scratch that—everything wasn’t right. He could feel the binds that held his arms tight behind his back. He was blinded to where he was, but he could feel his own bed underneath him. Something stilled his mouth from forming words; a gag had been stuffed into him and tied around his head. Everything, every muscle hurt him as he woke up. He could hear and what he heard made his stomach turn.

“Ah, you’re waking, it’s about time this gets a little interesting…” an unknown voice said behind him as he continued what he was doing. Dorian attempted to whimper and whine at his sore backend. He felt used, a feeling that he knew all too well; someone had just raped him. He intended to find out who this perpetrator was. “Good evening Dorian,” the voice purred before a slick cock was forced into him again. Dorian tried to scream as tears welled, he was sure that he was in tears but he couldn’t see anything just yet. He was in pain and this man knew how to make it worse.

“Go on, scream little one, no one will hear you,” the man chuckled as he thrust hard into Dorian’s tense body.

“No!” Dorian screamed through the gag. He could feel his saliva dampening the gag and leaking out the side.

“People always said that you were a good fuck and I have to agree,” the voice smiled, curling into an evil and twisted grin. “Don’t you love this little one? Love being fucked like the slut you are?” he asked.

“No, no, no!” Dorian struggled against his bonds but they held tight. His hands were in fists and his fingernails digging into his palm as he wept. The man thrust faster and quick. Dorian could do nothing against this man. He attempted his magic but something was silencing him. He was completely and utterly hopeless. His heart ached as he was used over and over again.

                Dorian tried to plead with the man through the night, tried to undo his bonds. The man had orgasmed four times in the night as he destroyed the mage’s body beneath him. Finger sized bruises littered Dorian’s hips and arms. Bite marks and claw marks appeared and his wrist had become strained trying to release himself. The man was laying so close to him after he was done ruining the mage, he was playing with his darker hair but Dorian kept trying to move away from the touch. The man chuckled at him.

“It’s a shame I can’t let you see me but know that I will kill Cullen Rutherford if you speak about this to anyone. If you hint about this, I will know. If you breathe a syllable, I will hear it. Your first warning will be a slice to the Commander’s hand. After that, there will be no warnings,” he started to list off the terms of this arrangement. “I will come to you each night and make beautiful love to you and you won’t say anything back to me. If you fail to come to your room each night before midnight, I will kill the Commander, do you understand me?” he asked. Dorian growled and tried to butt his head towards the man but he simply ticked at him and kept the mage at bay. “You will not disrespect me. You try another move like that and I will not hesitate to skip the first warning, do you understand?” he asked again. Dorian knew his face was soaked with his tears but he gave a quick nod. “Very good little one,” the voice said before everything disappeared.

                Dorian fell flat on his stomach, his bonds were gone, his eyesight restored, his gag removed and his magic returned. But he did nothing. Dorian lie on his bed completely naked and cried. He never thought that Skyhold, of all places, would be just like home. He curled himself into a fetal position as he let his fire die out and he cried himself to sleep. He woke in the morning, freezing, stiff, and sore. He wondered even if last night was real. The pain in his backside told him that it had been, the man’s ejaculate was still in him. He had to take a bath later to cleanse himself as he sobbed more. He had to tell Cullen to be aware.

“Dorian, my friend!” Cullen smiled to the mage who’d entered his office. His smile diminished slightly when he could see the worry in his friend’s eyes. “You don’t look well,” he noted.

“How astute of you Commander,” Dorian nodded. Cullen stood up to join him around the edge of his desk.

“Do you need medical help?” he asked, going to reach for Dorian’s shoulder but the mage pulled from him. It was then that he noticed Dorian had covered himself nearly entirely. It was nearing the summer and the Vint usually left his left arm free of clothing as the mountain air warmed, but today, he covered.

“Please, don’t touch,” Dorian shook his head. “I came to—“

“Commander?” there was a knock at the office door. Both turned to see who it was.

“Yes?” Cullen beckoned them in. The messenger came in to hand Cullen the letters for the day. “Thanks,” he nodded to the messenger. Dorian eyed the man, something was off about him but he couldn’t place it. He watched the man leave as Cullen began opening up his mail. “Ah! Shit!” Cullen hissed, dragging Dorian’s attention back to the Commander.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Nothing, just a little cut,” Cullen showed him his hand where the blood was starting to pool.

“Fasta vass!” Dorian growled. This was his warning, he knew it. How did the man know? This meant it was all real, his bruises were real, his aching body was real, his pain was real. And he couldn’t tell anyone about it, most importantly; Cullen.

“It’s just a little cut Dorian, nothing to fuss about,” Cullen shrugged it off and went to his small wash basin to clean it out. When he turned around again, the mage was gone. “Dorian?” he called around as he looked. He furrowed his brow, where could the mage have gone? He hadn’t finished telling Cullen what he came there for.

                The week was worse as it went on. Dorian tried his best to fight back; biting and bucking when he could. He even shamefully defecated on one of the men but it backfired when the man enjoyed it. Dorian vomited that morning and refused to eat the entire day. Cullen had started to take notice that day when he realized how pale the mage was and tried to force him to eat. Dorian politely refused and told him that he was just a little under the weather. Cullen wanted to believe, but he could see the pain in the mage’s eyes.

                The original man was ruthless with Dorian on the night before the chess game between he and Cullen. The man whipped the Vint, he bit him, he clawed him, and all around degraded the man. He told Dorian how much of a slut he was for allowing them to do this. He told him how Dorian must love it so much that he’d allow the men to use him to their desire, and how good of him it was to indulge in their kinks and fantasies. Dorian hadn’t slept that night or in the morning after the man left. He still had no idea who these men were and how they were able to sneak into his room without anyone knowing. Dorian vomited again and went to his study to think for a while.

 

~Present~

                Dorian went to his nook to plan out his day. He wondered how much longer he could take this abuse. His body was failing him and he knew it. At least back in Tevinter, they’d give him a few days break before attacking again. This man and his company were ruthless. Dorian was sure it was only the three; their holds were different and he could feel the individual traits at least. He hoped it was only three. He wondered how he could warn Cullen. He would have to prepare for the attack beforehand.

“Cullen?” Dorian arrived at Cullen’s office later in the evening, close to nightfall.

“Dorian?” Cullen looked up from his desk once again. “You really don’t look well, is there something I can do to help?” he asked. Dorian felt his eyes well in tears but they didn’t loose, he instead nodded to his friend. Cullen was up in a flash to come around to brace the tired mage. “What’s wrong?” he asked again.

“He’s going to kill you,” Dorian was barely able to say. He had to bite his lip to dam his tears as he looked to the Commander. “I don’t know how much time we have but he knows, he always knows,” he shook his head.

“Dorian, what are you talking—“

“The cut on your hand? That was my first warning. I tried to tell you then but he knew and he cut your hand,” Dorian held the injured hand. “There are people that have—“ he stopped himself as he looked to Cullen. The Commander seemed to be trying to comprehend the situation, he looked slightly skeptical but there stood his resound to hear the mage through this. “They’ve hurt me this week, kept me up at night. They threatened to kill you if I breathed a word about it but I can’t take it any more Cullen! I can’t do it!” he shook his head. He felt panic arise when the hairs on the back of his neck rose; they were coming for him. “They threatened that if I didn’t come to my room each night, they would kill you. I can’t lose you Cullen!” he begged for the man to believe him.

“Why didn’t you use your magic?” Cullen asked, it wasn’t an accusing question or stare but a curious one.

“I couldn’t, something blocked me. They get into my room unnoticed, not even Leliana sees them. I think they’re part of her group,” he kept a hold of Cullen’s arms.

“That’s not possible Dorian and you know it. Leliana would never allow such callous buffoons into her ranks,” Cullen shook his head.

“Then who are they?!” Dorian yelled at him. His resolve was breaking as he looked to Cullen. The man had no answers for him. Dorian felt the tears starting to fall of their own accord as he shook his head. “They…they’ve raped me Cullen,” he said quietly. He could see the shock in Cullen’s face as he spoke the words.

“They—they…but…” Cullen couldn’t find the words.

“I couldn’t tell you. I thought I could endure,” he shook his head. “I thought…I thought Skyhold was different from home,” he sobbed and turned away to shield himself from Cullen. He could only hear Cullen’s adorable little whisper of the Maker’s name that he breathed out. “I…don’t know what to do or how to defeat them. They would bind me and—“ he stopped himself. He could feel Cullen become uncomfortable for a moment as he hiccupped with tears. “I’m sorry Cullen,” he turned back to the Commander. He started to expect that the man would leave him after this confession. “I don’t know what to do,” he repeated. Cullen seemed to have been debating something, he looked to the door before he took in a sharp breath.

“I thought you seemed…off this past week,” Cullen took a step towards him delicately as if he’d scare the mage off. “I noticed how you’d sit or rather, would prefer not to. I saw how your eyes darted around, looking for them,” he took another step. “I am so sorry Dorian,” he finally was close enough that he could reach his arms out to pull the mage to him and embrace him. Dorian was stiff at first but soon relaxed and melted in Cullen’s hold. He lifted his arms up to wrap around Cullen’s shoulders and the fur that he wore. Cullen pulled him closer and held him tighter; his right hand went up to tangle in Dorian’s black hair to caress him. Dorian was crying still but quieter as he shoved his face between the fur and Cullen’s neck. “I’m sorry,” he whispered again as he held the mage. “You can stay with me tonight, we’ll be ready when they come,” he nodded to him.

“I don’t think you can kill them, amatus,” Dorian whispered, another hiccup when he spoke.

“I will die trying—“

“No!” Dorian interrupted him and pulled away to look at him like a frightened lamb.

“Dorian,” Cullen scoffed in confusion. “Why won’t you—“

“You cannot die for me!” Dorian shook his head. “Maker, I could never forgive myself,” he breathed out. “I could never,” he repeated, tears still littered his face.

“Then what do you expect me to—“ Dorian didn’t wait for him to finish, he simply pulled Cullen in for a kiss. He expected the man to accept him at this point; they had been with each other for long enough. But Cullen was pushing him away and then pulling away when Dorian wouldn’t move. “What are you doing?!” Cullen asked in surprise.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I thought—“ Dorian shook his head before he went to leave.

“No, no, wait,” Cullen stopped him. “You can’t leave yet, what if your attackers come try to find you or me?” he asked. Dorian was confused and hurt and feeling horribly depressed about the whole situation. Cullen seemed to read his confusion and went on. “Why don’t you take my bed tonight and I’ll stay and watch,” he offered. He knew that the mage was not feeling well when he didn’t make an insinuation or sexual inference from his words. Instead Dorian nodded and rubbed his arm before looking around. “Go on,” Cullen nodded towards the ladder. Dorian left him to climb the ladder and crawl into Cullen’s bed. It wasn’t as comfortable as his own but it worked just fine. He shed his tunic and cuddled into the blanket. Everything smelled like Cullen which should have lulled him to sleep, but sleep did not come easy.

                Dorian couldn’t sleep; he couldn’t do anything but lie in the bed and wait. He waited for his attackers to come and use him. He waited for the fateful blow to Cullen that would kill him. He waited. He could hear Cullen down the next level doing his work for the night and then he too was waiting. Some messenger came in to ask where Dorian was, the mage’s room had been reported to have been trashed some few minutes prior. Dorian shook under the covers, he wasn’t cold, he was nervous. He was scared. He was horrified and all for Cullen. He started to cry again, no one had ever threatened one that he loved before. Thankfully Cullen was more than able but his attackers remained a mystery to them all.

                Dorian fell into fitful dreams. His attackers showed up with masks over their faces and showed him Cullen’s severed head. The mage woke up screaming in fright, nearly pissing the bed for the first time ever. Cullen yelled for him and quickly ascended the ladder to rush to the mage. Dorian wanted to vomit and cleanse himself but Cullen was already trying to figure out what was wrong when the mage stood up to pull Cullen into a hug. Cullen stayed still for a moment, letting himself think and be smothered by the mage who still sobbed.

“What’s wrong?” Cullen asked softly, he eventually let his arms relax to hug the mage in return.

“It was them, it was all them,” Dorian cried softly. “They severed you and…and—“ he stopped himself and took ragged breaths. “I—I can’t lose you Cullen,” he breathed heavily against the Commander.

“It was just a dream Dorian,” Cullen attempted to soothe him. He was clearly not good at this and being what Dorian needed him to be. He pet the mage’s bare back and his hair again, hoping to help him relax. The pair stayed like that for a few more minutes, Cullen was starting to become uncomfortable again but Dorian held tight as if he’d die if he let go. Dorian sobbing eventually subsided but the mage stayed quiet. Cullen had relaxed again and let the mage hold onto him. It was a few more minutes before Cullen’s office door opened again and slammed. The mage had jumped, scaring Cullen as well.

“No, no, no, no,” Dorian whispered in the dark. “No, no, no, please no,” he began to freak out.

“Stay quiet, I will handle this,” Cullen whispered to him before he kissed the mage’s cheek and let go. He sat the mage down on his bed and went over to the ladder. “Who is there?” he asked down below.

“Why don’t you come down and find out Commander?” the voice said.

“That’s him, that’s him!” Dorian whispered to Cullen who glanced to him.

“Stay,” Cullen motioned to him before he dropped down below. Dorian felt sick to his stomach, he knew what was going to happen, he knew how this was going to end. He was shaking and crying and nearly pissing his breeches again. He’d never been this scared before, never had a reason to be but he couldn’t lose Cullen, he couldn’t lose him. He swore to himself and started to pace as he listened to the men talk below. He nearly screamed with terror when the fighting started. Cullen had been able to push the three men out towards the battlements to keep Dorian safe. Dorian paced round and round until he heard someone entering the second level with him.

“If the Commander is going to kill then I’m getting last dibs,” the man growled, one of the three.

“No!” Dorian yelled out and attempted his magic. Nothing happened. The man started to chuckle at him before he revealed the artifact that kept the mage silent. “Fuck off!” he yelled at him; he was ready to fight but the man drew his sword. His heart caught in his throat, this was the end for Dorian Pavus. That was until he saw the glint of a knife under Cullen’s pillow as he backed towards the window. “Ha!” he grabbed the knife to brandish it. The man only laughed at him and pointed at his sword before he tried to stab the mage. Through dancing around and attempted stabs, Dorian was able to slash the man’s cheek. In anger the man roared and charged the mage. Dorian’s only chance of survival was through the window. And so he ran to jump out; shattering the window to fall onto the battlement below where Cullen was still fighting the other two. Dorian yelled out in pain as the shards of glass penetrated his back and air was pressed from his lungs. Cullen had killed one of the men in the confusion and pinned the other as Dorian laid there in pain. The man from Cullen’s room growled out the window before he ran back to descend the ladder and out the door.

“Don’t touch him!” Cullen roared out as he held his sword to the leader’s neck.

“You’re kidding right? I’ve got your mage,” the other man laughed and walked towards Dorian with his sword out. “I should take him one last night before I kill him, I’m not so fond of a cold corpse myself, but for the Vint I’d make an exception,” he shrugged. Dorian whimpered from his position; the shards were starting to blind him with pain as he stayed down. He saw the shadow before he knew what was happening. The man was quickly silenced through hundreds of stab wounds to his back. He seized before he fell to the side to reveal Leliana with a bloodied knife.

“Talk,” she demanded the leader.

“What’s there to say? The Vint’s easy, both on the eyes and on the cock,” he chuckled as blood seeped from his mouth.

“Do you know what else is easy?” she asked him, still walking towards them. “Killing those who have harmed my friends,” she said before she stabbed him in the heart. Cullen threw the man down in disgust before he nodded to Leliana and ran to Dorian.

“Hey, hey, are you okay?” Cullen asked him as he attempted to help him up into sitting at least. Dorian  yelled with the pain of moving but he was helped into standing so they could transfer him back to Cullen’s office.

“You are kidding me, aren’t you?” Dorian asked, short of breath.

“I’m sorry, wrong question, I know. I do that when I’m still worked up after a kill,” Cullen shook his head and helped Dorian sit on his desk after he cleared it all off of paperwork. Leliana kept him steady before she helped him sit on the low desk. “Maker…” Cullen went around to look at the mess of glass that was stuck in the mage’s body. “This…is going to hurt,” he warned.

“I can fetch an elfroot potion,” Leliana told them before she left.

“I was right about the men, they were hers,” Dorian told him as he continued to huff little breaths at a time to help regulate the pain.

“Shush for now, we will speak later,” Cullen told him as he started to remove the larger pieces of glass for the moment. Dorian did his best to keep still and steady for him but he couldn’t help the whimper and flinch when the piece was too deep. Cullen had the majority of the glass out by the time Leliana returned with a healer and the potions. The healer was quick to rush to Dorian to feed him the potion and wash a spell through him. She joined Cullen in removing the pieces while Leliana held the unconscious mage upright.

“How could you not know?” Cullen seethed towards the spymaster.

“How could I?” she asked him. “I run my members through rigorous training and faithfulness tests. It was likely that they took an interest to him after all of that. My members are experts at acting and fooling, no? I take only the best and as a result, I have hurt my friends. Commander, I cannot express how sorry I am and how fulfilling it was to take their lives. I cannot right the wrong that has been done,” she told him. He was angry with her but he knew that she had been in the dark just as much as he had.

                The glass was finally removed completely and Dorian was waking from his nap with a groggy expression. Leliana had retired to deal with the bodies and so Cullen took over the duty of holding the mage. The healer was wrapping up the wounds dabbed with elfroot paste to heal quicker. Dorian groaned and leaned heavily against Cullen as he wet his mouth. The healer finished her work and left them a few potions for the night should the mage need them. Cullen thanked her before she left and then worked on getting Dorian up into the loft and into his bed. The mage was barely awake as he looked at Cullen before his eyes welled with tears.

“It’s over,” Cullen sat at the edge of the bed before he cupped the Vint’s cheek to wipe away the tears. “You’re safe again and we’re alive,” Cullen smiled at him. He had his own tears forming at the thought that Dorian had been hurt so deeply by these men and all right under their noses. He sniffled and attempted to clear them but they came all the same. Dorian groaned but forced himself to sit up so he could lean and give Cullen a hug. “Maker, don’t you ever fucking leave me in the dark again, do you understand me?” he demanded through gritted teeth as he held him close. Dorian nodded and continued to hug him and rest in his hold.

                Cullen ended up letting Dorian take his bed for the remainder of the night. He had removed his armor and pulled a blanket around to sleep on the floor next to the bed so he could keep an eye on Dorian. The Vint had woken in the night to yell out in fright once more; a dream this time. He had accidentally pushed himself to the side, it caused him to fall down onto Cullen who huffed with the blow. Dorian had pushed himself back up onto his fours as he panted and looked around in the dark. Cullen wasn’t sure if he was awake or not but he pulled Dorian down so he could settle first. Dorian was quick to cuddle into the Commander. Cullen blushed in the darkness.

Cullen allowed him to stay there until he could feel Dorian fall asleep again. A few more moments and he was still sleeping peacefully. Cullen pulled himself from the mage before standing to pick the man up and gently lay him on his bed. Cullen looked around once before he sighed and crawled into the bed with Dorian. The Vint was quick to latch onto him again and cuddle into his side. Cullen smiled at the act this time and pulled the covers over the both of them. The two fell into peaceful slumber.

Dorian wet his mouth in the morning. He felt and tasted the elfroot on his breath. He swallowed and waited for more saliva to form as he woke warm and feeling safer. He recalled the night, recalled the fact that he was finally free once more. The weight had been lifted off his shoulders and he swore that he was flying. He smiled against his pillow and cuddled into them more. It was then that he realized he was not sleeping on pillows. He opened his eyes to see the expanse of chest before him. Cullen was barely awake yet but he realized what he’d been doing.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Dorian was quick to get up onto his fours and stare at the waking Commander.

“Hmm?” Cullen asked through his sleep.

“Apologies, I didn’t mean to sleep so near,” he was quick to move to the side of the bed and sit up. Cullen yawned with the morning and began to stretch out. Dorian slid his feet out and sat at the edge; he shivered in the cool air of Cullen’s room and looked around to try to find his tunic.

“Where’re you goin’?” Cullen asked; half asleep still.

“Um…I—I don’t know,” Dorian answered. He remembered that his room was trashed still, where was he going to stay? How bad was the damage? Were all of his things intact and thrown around? Or were they ripped and torn and burnt?

“Come back,” Cullen moved to his side and patted the bed next to him. Dorian shivered again and looked back at the inviting bed.

“I thought…you…you didn’t want me?” he asked softly.

“I never said that.”

“Well, it kind of felt like it when you pushed me away,” Dorian argued. Cullen wiped at his face to wake himself more and pull up to balance on his elbow. “I apologize for intruding so, I will take my leave if you want me gone,” he stood up.

“No, no, no,” Cullen scrambled over to wrap his arms around the mage’s waist. “Dorian, you flirt with me all the time but I didn’t realize that you actually wanted something of it,” he explained himself as Dorian stood there. “I’m…a little daft when it comes to um…courting and…you know,” he spoke nervously. “But…I do want you if you’ll have me,” he allowed Dorian to sit back on the bed when the mage relaxed again. Cullen moved back to his spot and patted the bed once more. Dorian glanced to him but he laid down and gently moved himself towards the Commander. He was careful not to lie on his sore back for too long. Cullen was patient with him and allowed him to cuddle into the Commander’s embrace. Cullen sighed gently and kissed his forehead.

“I’m sorry,” Dorian whispered to him as if everything that transpired had been his fault.

“Dorian, look at me,” Cullen demanded softly. The mage was reluctant but he did was he was told. “None of this was your fault. I want you to understand that even though you felt like you couldn’t tell me, you did what you thought was the right thing,” he watched the mage’s eyes swell with tears. Cullen picked up his hand to caress the blushed cheek of the Vint. Dorian flinched ever so slightly at the movement but kept himself still. Dorian pulled his own hand up to cover the Commander’s hand and pull it away to look at it. The faint scar from the warning was still there. “Alright, you did have a reason not to tell me,” Cullen smiled at him. Dorian let the hand back down and closed his eyes to rest for the moment. “I’m sorry they hurt you and I’m sorry I didn’t ask sooner.”

“You did try,” Dorian opened his eyes again, they were still watering. “You asked, you were the only one to ask,” he sniffled and tried to look happy about it. “Thank you amatus,” he whispered.

“May I kiss you?” Cullen asked him softly. Dorian had to chuckle and sputter through his sudden tears. He smiled but moved away onto his back.

“All this time and you choose now, to ask?” he did his best to dry his tears; his smile still shining through. “Not when I’m content and free of tears?” he asked. Cullen smiled at him and rolled up onto his elbow to look down at the mage.

“Well, I suppose I could have asked at a better time,” he shrugged and waited for his answer. Dorian sighed and did his best to rid his face of his tears. He sniffled some more and looked away from Cullen as he let himself relax again. “So…?” he asked.

“To be blunt with you, I just want to sleep some more and cuddle with you,” Dorian looked back at him. “I um…I don’t think I can cease my tears and I’m afraid it would be a terrible experience for you if you kissed me now,” he confessed, hoping that Cullen would understand.

“Ah, I see,” Cullen nodded. “Well, we can save it for a rainy day,” he shrugged again and bent down anyway to kiss his cheek tenderly. Dorian smiled at him and turned to cuddle into the Commander once again. Cullen tucked the blanket around them tightly to keep the mage warmer in his embrace.

“Thank you, Cullen,” Dorian whispered.

“I am positive that I would do anything for you, Dorian,” Cullen told him in return and wrapped his arms around the mage. He didn’t hold him tight due to the wounds still scattered on his back but he did caress the darker skin and watch as Dorian quivered at the touch.

The mage teared up on and off through the morning. Cullen comforted him the best that he could when Dorian was flat out balling his eyes out. Dorian was attempting to explain how he felt during the week; lost, hopeless, powerless, pained, tortured, abused, worthless. Cullen did his best to show that he was the complete opposite of those things. He talked to him about times in their past where Dorian showed how he knew the exact path he was to follow in life. How Dorian had given them hope during the trials of Haven. How powerful Dorian had been against the Tevinter Venatori. He told Dorian how much he was really worth to Cullen; how much he valued the Vint and never wanted him to be hurt ever again. Cullen vowed to protect him and keep him safe when he could.

Dorian was eventually able to leave the bed come later afternoon. He didn’t want to leave Cullen’s side and so Cullen took him down to his room to figure out if his things were salvageable. Some of the items had been smashed or torn but Dorian was able to find some of his clothing’s and jewelry. His staff was untouched thankfully and he quickly grasped it to hold it tight to himself. Cullen helped him gather what he needed and brought it back up to his own quarters. He offered his bed to the mage should he feel more comfortable to take it instead of sleeping on his own. Dorian accepted for the moment; he knew he was a wreck and would need companionship through the upcoming weeks of his healing.

Dorian allowed Cullen to kiss him at the end of the day; his reward for being patient with the mage. Cullen chuckled at him before he pulled him close and kissed him with heart. Dorian was happy with this new development even though it took a disaster for it to happen. He held onto Cullen for his life. He was sure that he’d be just fine holding onto that man for the rest of their natural lives.


End file.
